It seems simple enough on paper, but I’m starting to realize that the process of searching for a reliable sex partner is a small level down in difficulty from searching for an ideal mate.
My Time Out New York singles issue experience was overwhelmingly positive, but ultimately a bust. Between the guy who wanted an open relationship, the guy who couldn’t get it up in bed, and the sweet guy that I just didn’t fully click with, I’m ready to declare a moratorium on actively pursuing something serious. This is the first time I’ve enjoyed being single, it’s a new feeling, and I want to run with it. I'm still open to higher levels of intimacy, but there’s no rush for me in forcing it there.
That being said, one-night stand sex often leaves a lot to be desired. Sometime it’s wonderful, but a lot of times it’s unimaginative, one-sided, and entirely too brief.
The DL/cheating and “straight” men I’ve been involved with as of late would seem like a great idea in theory, but their lack of awareness about what turns men on is confusing, particularly since, well, they are men. Not climaxing because you want to “save it for your girlfriend” is the last thing that’s going to excite me, and telling me you want to “fuck my pussy” is going to get my boxers thrown back on in a nanosecond, and your ass thrown out of my apartment.
Part of this need for a regular fuck buddy also comes down to safety precautions. I feel like my number of partners the last few months may be getting out of hand. Condoms are used EVERY time, without fail, but NYC has the second highest percentage of people inflicted with HIV/AIDS in the country. Honestly, it might as well be Rwanda. Why tempt fate?
So where does a guy find someone who’s pretty to look at with a crazy sexual appetite (Uninhibited? More than three times a week? Up for being experimental?), yet possesses none of the qualities I would want in a potential partner?
The latter is essential for my fuck buddy, arguably more so than the former. Any time genuine attraction or feelings come into play on either side, the no-strings sexual agreement goes out the window. Ideally, this no-strings partner would be a Republican, work in finance or as a lawyer, have no sense of humor whatsoever, and hold views on society that I find to be completely repugnant.
Even better, I shouldn’t know any of these things about them. I shouldn’t even know their name, or at least not their real one (They certainly won’t know my real one). Don’t take me out for drinks or a date first. We both know where this night will end up, and I’d rather not be at a bar I don’t want to be at, engaged in painfully dull small talk I have no interest in having. Don’t ask me how my day went or how I’ve been, because you obviously don’t care. I want to walk into your apartment, strip down, and get this party started.
My Time Out New York singles issue experience was overwhelmingly positive, but ultimately a bust. Between the guy who wanted an open relationship, the guy who couldn’t get it up in bed, and the sweet guy that I just didn’t fully click with, I’m ready to declare a moratorium on actively pursuing something serious. This is the first time I’ve enjoyed being single, it’s a new feeling, and I want to run with it. I'm still open to higher levels of intimacy, but there’s no rush for me in forcing it there.
That being said, one-night stand sex often leaves a lot to be desired. Sometime it’s wonderful, but a lot of times it’s unimaginative, one-sided, and entirely too brief.
The DL/cheating and “straight” men I’ve been involved with as of late would seem like a great idea in theory, but their lack of awareness about what turns men on is confusing, particularly since, well, they are men. Not climaxing because you want to “save it for your girlfriend” is the last thing that’s going to excite me, and telling me you want to “fuck my pussy” is going to get my boxers thrown back on in a nanosecond, and your ass thrown out of my apartment.
Part of this need for a regular fuck buddy also comes down to safety precautions. I feel like my number of partners the last few months may be getting out of hand. Condoms are used EVERY time, without fail, but NYC has the second highest percentage of people inflicted with HIV/AIDS in the country. Honestly, it might as well be Rwanda. Why tempt fate?
So where does a guy find someone who’s pretty to look at with a crazy sexual appetite (Uninhibited? More than three times a week? Up for being experimental?), yet possesses none of the qualities I would want in a potential partner?
The latter is essential for my fuck buddy, arguably more so than the former. Any time genuine attraction or feelings come into play on either side, the no-strings sexual agreement goes out the window. Ideally, this no-strings partner would be a Republican, work in finance or as a lawyer, have no sense of humor whatsoever, and hold views on society that I find to be completely repugnant.
Even better, I shouldn’t know any of these things about them. I shouldn’t even know their name, or at least not their real one (They certainly won’t know my real one). Don’t take me out for drinks or a date first. We both know where this night will end up, and I’d rather not be at a bar I don’t want to be at, engaged in painfully dull small talk I have no interest in having. Don’t ask me how my day went or how I’ve been, because you obviously don’t care. I want to walk into your apartment, strip down, and get this party started.
love the cartoons!lol
ReplyDeletewhats wrong with people who work in finance?
People in finance are usually humorless and Republican, so it's just killing a bunch of birds with one stone.
ReplyDeleteNice Alanis reference there. ;-)
ReplyDeleteyou would think a college boy would be a reliable fuck buddy. you would also be wrong apparently. can't get this dude here for meaningless sex maybe 3 out of 5. let's all just have (safe) sex, mkay?
ReplyDelete